This post has been a long time coming, I think readers can agree. After numerous aborted efforts to kick-start a stagnant blog, I am officially signing off. I know, what a foul statement to make. After keeping Cute, Queer, Canadian going for about two and a half years, I've come to a few conclusions:
- Cute, Queer, Canadian and the bloggers I connected with as a result were influential to me during my large-scale coming out. Having this outlet as I moved through the intricate process of outing myself was vital for me. I needed to know I had other supportive queer people out there who had been through the same experience, and I needed to have that accountability to keep my coming out on track. For that, I am ever-grateful.
- On the other side of that equation, I have made very little progress when it comes to actually living as an out woman. I get the impression I've betrayed the same people who supported me so completely. I've lost touch with Toronto's queer scene (if I had a connection to start with), and I wonder now if there's even a place for me there.
- Writing about women and celebrating their fierce loveliness has brought me incredible joy. I found a voice through this blog that I didn't quite know I possessed, and I'm glad I could share that with you.
I've met with an imposing series of obstacles since May 2011, which encouraged my flight from this blog as the year progressed. I've come to doubt a very vital part of my character, and I'm still trying to build myself up again after discovering even more personal flaws than I'd anticipated. I've been toying with retiring from the social media scene altogether in order to regroup, but I wonder how long that abstinence could last (I mean, we're all tech kids at heart now, am I right?)
I know I can't keep up with the posting like I once did, and I find I have less and less to say about being queer in general. As I said earlier, I've lost sight of the queer scene in my own backyard, though, to be honest, I had such shaky footing there in the first place. But I felt I needed to explain my case to you rather than just delete Cute, Queer, Canadian outright.
I wouldn't mind saving these posts for posterity's sake, so I imagine the blog will still be up for a while yet. I mean, I managed to write over 300 posts, so that'll be a lot of copy-and-pasting in the days to come. Knowing me, I'll start up another blog with a new focus once I get my self confidence back. I'm a writer—I can't separate myself from words for long. In the meantime, I wish you all the best as 2011 comes to a close, and I thank you again for taking this journey with me.
Love always,
Miz Moffatt